Wednesday, September 11, 2013

The Humid Truth

It's been a while since I've blogged because all my ideas come at times where I have no time to create them, so here's something a lifetime in the making.

All the terrible things of humidity

Sometimes I complain, but if you took all those some times and sorted them you’d find out there are a few things that generally cause me to complain. Number 1: The cost of college., but everyone knows about that, and no one cares to hear more about that. Number 2: Georgia. I am, and always will be, a Colorado girl. Georgia (especially Atlanta, Georgia) has some downsides that make me complain quite a bit. I admit sometimes I complain about Georgia to lead into conversations where I can brag about Colorado (not that it needs me to tell people it’s awesome).

My biggest issue with Georgia in general is humidity. Yes, I know it wasn’t that bad the day I complained. Yes, I know it get’s A LOT worse. However, it doesn’t matter “how much” humidity there is in the air. It could be at 50% and I will still complain. Why? Because I don’t like humidity. At all. Most people think I’m being ridiculous because they don’t understand that in Colorado it’s “humid” when there’s more that 15% humidity.

So what’s so bad about humidity? Well, here, I have compiled a list (not exhaustive because that’s impossible) of things I highly dislike about humidity. I know I'm not the only one who has strong feelings about humidity, and I'm pretty sure that no one has really strong positive feelings about it, so I feel safe posting this on my blog without offending anyone. 

Humidity melts candy.
One of my favorite candies is Lemon Heads and I brought some with me to college thinking they’d be my emergency stash. I broke into it about a week into school (Yes, I lasted one entire week without my Lemon Heads.) only to find that my box of delicious sour, sugary spheres was now a slightly malleable brick of lemony goodness. I ate it, but it was significantly more difficult and I’m pretty sure I ate some cardboard in the process.

Because it looked just like this. So sad.
On another occasion, I went to “Sting Break” (a carnival thing we have at school) and got some cotton candy. Well, generally I slowly savor my cotton candy, but I stepped outside with it only to notice that the edges of my sugary cloud were spontaneously melting because of, you guessed it, humidity.

Humidity forces me to blow-dry my hair.
I’m lazy. My whole life I’ve towel dried my hair to some extend then either slept with it wet, or let it dry naturally. Now that process could take up to 2 days (ok, maybe 6 hours) and unless I want to go everywhere with wet hair, I have to spend extra time blow-drying my hair.

It reverses the laws of stickiness.
Things that aren’t meant to be sticky (humans and hardwood floors, for example) are very sticky. Things that should be sticky like tape, are not. Since I can’t use hardwood floors to put posters on my dorm room’s walls, this is highly inconvenient.

The temperature.
Whenever I talk about this people like to remind me that I’m from Colorado.
“I’m cold.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be from Colorado?”
“I’m hot.”
“Ha. Silly Colorado Girl.”
Since I’m writing and no one can interrupt me…
Yes I am a Colorado girl. Believe it or not, humidity allows that coldness to seep through the threads of my clothing, between the atoms in my skin, and settle in my bones. I get cold.

Also, there is not always snow in Colorado and it does get hot, into the hundreds! We get fires. And from experience, I can tell you it’s quite difficult to start a fire in the snow, let alone let it get out of control and burn down entire forests. But humidity in Georgia makes me feel sticky, and sweaty, and dehydrated from being the latter. I categorize this as “hot” since it is discomfort from being in a high temperature and, drumroll please, humidity!